Friday, December 26, 2014

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?



One of humankind’s most asked questions is the one I’ve asked above: why did the chicken cross the road? I think the answer is pretty simple, to be honest. It’s chock full of symbolism, metaphors, and wisdom concerning the human experience. Why did the chicken cross the road? One reason is to find out what lies beyond. For the limited and mindless world of the chicken, what is across the road is almost beyond comprehension. When you’re a bird that is generally regarded as less than intelligent and you exist so that you and your babies can be eaten by humans, I think that it’s perfectly understandable that what is “on the other side” becomes an area of mystery. Think about it. It’s almost like our perception of death. We just don’t know what lies beyond the concrete walkway of life. We can guess all we want, but we will never really know, yet it gives us a mysterious sense of purpose. When the chicken tries to cross the road, it is in the pursuit of the answer to a question that it can’t really answer. It gives the chicken a reason to live, besides becoming shish kabob. When somebody really dramatically says, “I’ll see you on the other side”, in a movie or something, they mean that wherever they end up after they endure whatever the hell it is they’re doing, they will be together in an entirely different and mysterious kind of place. When the chicken crosses the road it is very simply trying to find out what is “on the other side”. The chicken is trying to discover that other place that we just can’t wrap our heads around. It will never find it, but the whole act of it is built on an existential idea. That’s right. A dumb joke you’ve heard all of your life is really a parody of existentialism and the purpose of the human experience. I know I probably just blew you mind, so take a couple of minutes to take it all in.

I’d like to include a disclaimer that I was not under the influence of any substances, legal or illegal, while writing this piece.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

-Rudolph

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