My Mom's Top Ten

 

In 2024, I wrote about my father’s Top Ten favorite things.  I decided this year is Mom’s turn.

#10 Her Family. I literally could have listed Mom’s family going from 1 through 10, which is why I listed this straight away.  Nothing was more important than her children. Well, except for her grandchildren.  But Mom was the type of mother who never missed a beat. She never missed an opportunity to be there for us – whether it was attending each and every school function, or picking up toilet paper for us because one never wants to run out, or making sure my December 24^th birthday was indeed a birthday celebration replete with a proper birthday cake and presents wrapped in birthday wrap (*not* Christmas wrap). Never. Missed. A. Beat.

#9 Our Travel Adventures. When we were younger and mostly ventured to where we could get by car, Mom thoroughly enjoyed the majestic mountains of the Rockies, exploring campgrounds, going to Disneyland, and bargaining with the salespeople in Juarez, Mexico. However, I also think she enjoyed the unexpected challenges that we faced during our summer treks. After the fact, anyway. There was the time that we were navigating our full-sized van with our trailer in tow over Independence Pass, Colorado.  If you know anything about that pass, you know you can’t take those tight single lane curves in such a big vehicle. You have to back up, partially off a cliff, to be able to maneuver into the turn. Mom got out of the van and directed Dad who could not see what he was reversing into, while we were indeed perilously kissing that edge.  She was pissed at the time, but I suspect after her blood pressure returned to normal, she was rightfully impressed with herself.

#8 The Beach. Throughout all of my childhood and most of my adulthood, I can count on one hand how many times my parents took me to the beach. Yes, we lived on an Island and had ready access to 400 square miles of beach, but I mostly went with friends. Yet, for some reason, when Mom was in her final years, she absolutely loved having my brother or me drive her to the beach. Sometimes we would actually get out of the car and sit in chairs by the snack stand. Typically though, we would simply drive around the parking lot, or head out to Robert Moses and visit the deer that reliably graze there. Mom always exclaimed “It’s just so peaceful.”

#7 Wine and Cheese.  Our little neighborhood had lots of friendly neighbors that enjoyed a good party. Always chill and always at somebody’s house. Mom’s favorite social event, nonetheless, was sitting on the front stoop in the dark with one of her friends, while sipping wine and snacking on cheese and crackers. The stoop was the closest thing we had to a porch, and perched in darkness they could watch the neighborhood undetected.  Friday nights always provided an entertaining stage.

#6 Reading. Although Mom always seemed busy doing something for or with others, she somehow found the time to read.  She particularly enjoyed her romantic drama novels. I don’t think she missed a Danielle Steel book drop for at least ten years.

#5 Walking. Mom absolutely loved to go on long walks. Sidewalks through little towns, dirt trails in the forest, roads around campgrounds, muddy grass in apple orchards.  My most vivid memory of walking with Mom was somewhere in this great country in the woods.  I don’t recall following blazes on an actual proper trail back then, which meant we relied on my dad’s sense of direction to not get us lost, but that’s a story for another time. What I *do* remember about that walk is that at the edge of the woods there was a field and in that field there was a white horse. He greeted us from the edge of his fence, his tail and mane tossing in the breeze. It was magical and felt like that it was my parents’ master plan all along, to come upon this horse.

#4 Shopping.  Mom was a master when it came to shopping. At the supermarket, she would take advantage of triple coupon days and employ a dozen other tactics I could never keep track of and come home with money the store had ended up paying us. It was astounding. If one clothing store ran out of something, Mom went to every other outlet of that store on the Island to get what she wanted. She remained undeterred. That woman also seemed to know the price of everything, all the time, so she never overpaid. She always knew what an item should cost, and made sure to buy it on sale.

#3 Chemistry.  You read that right. I’ve always said my mother was an undiagnosed chemist. If a fabric got a stain on it, Mom would mix up potions, perhaps with toothpaste, or plain old bleaching in the sun, or even gasoline (yes, that works surprisingly well). She kept a folder of magazine and news clippings on different cleaning recommendations and welcomed the challenge. If she couldn’t get a stain out, nobody could.

#2 Sweets. Mom had a formidable sweet tooth.  She was always good about making sure she, and we, maintained a healthy diet. Nevertheless, she loved a good cake or candy. I recall one year waking up late and my entire family was eating leftover birthday cake for breakfast. Mom also loved soft serve vanilla ice cream. She would say “you don’t need to add all that other stuff.”

#2 Charity.  There was weekly tithing in church, donations for the troops “because people forget about them” toys for a wonderful local organization support kids with cancer, canned goods to a food bank, and probably a few others that I am not recalling right now. Mom frequently stated that “other people need it more than we do.”

#1 Animals. Or more specifically, feeding animals. Favorites include deer, raccoons, possums, birds, and bears. Her exceptional nurturing instinct was on full display. Nothing would make her happier than to spot an animal in the woods or in the garden, or even at her doorstep. There was the time that she fed raccoons marshmallows from our trailer door, thereby trapping us in the trailer until the raccoons finally tired of us and the sticky snack. Mom had also been known to feed bears through a car window. (No judging, it was a different time.) And deer by hand in a National Park, absolutely. The world was her petting zoo.

Did you notice I include two 2’s in there? That is because I had eleven things to list and I did not want to drop any of them.  Some people just cannot be limited to top tens!  Anyway, thanks for reminiscing with me!