Monday, December 2, 2019

The Weight

Young Timmy was tired of getting beat up at school. He was so tired of it, in fact, he could hardly take it anymore. “This ends today” he told his lumpy friend Titus. 

“But Timmy!” started lumpy Titus, “That’s what you said last week and then just got beat up even more. What are you going to do this time- seduce him into being nice to you?”

Timmy got a glint in his eye. “I might just do that, Titus. I might just”.

The next day, walking home with a black eye and a blackening heart, Timmy stopped at the magical shop next to the deli. When he walked in, the bell went clang clang and a crotchety store keeper looked up and smiled a crotchety smile.

“Well hello there young Timmy,” he crotcheted, “What can I do for a young boy like yourself on this snowy afternoon?” 

“How did you know my name?!”, cried Timmy, who was clearly being an idiot because the store keeper worked at a magical shop.

“I work at a magical shop you stupid idiot,” replied the store keeper. “Now what do you want?”

"I request your strongest love potion to solve a problem of mine!” Timmy declared confidently.

The store keeper peered down at him with his little gross glasses. “Hmmm,” he pondered, “Are you certain this is what you wish for your problem? Some subjects… aren’t able to carry the weight of the consequences”. 

“100%”, Timmy stated and grabbed the bottle from the front desk, put a $20 bill in its place, and left in a huff. 

The next day, Timmy snuck ten drops of the love potion into Brad the Bully’s pepsi. During lunch, Brad cornered Timmy as per usual. “What’s up tiny turd? Lookin pretty tiny over there in your little clothes”, Brad laughed.

Timmy just smiled and watched as Brad started to grow an erection. Brad tried to hide it down his pant leg but that never really works. The erection grew and grew until Brad could no longer stand! He fell over, basically crippled, and the entire school laughed.

Timmy skipped away elfishly and shouted back, “Make sure you’re able to carry the weight of your consequences!”

The End

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