Tuesday, December 10, 2013

How The Rumpert Stole Christmas (Because The Grinch Failed)



There once was a rumpert,
Who lived in the woods.
He savaged and pillaged,
And stole hikers’ goods.

He was awfully snaggly,
His yellow teeth baring.
And paggly too;
He was always out scaring.

He had a big nose,
And wore nothing but trousers.
His body was furry
And he ate only schnauzers.

He hated the holidays
And one day in a pinch;
He found a drab cave
And befriended the Grinch.

The Grinch and the rumpert,
They put on a show,
Went plundering and looting,
Out in the snow.

On the day Grinch stole Christmas,
Which wasn’t understood,
That unfaithful Grinch had to go,
And become perfectly good.

The miserable rumpert
Was blue and depressed.
He sulked in the shadows
And ate a bird’s nest.

He pouted and moped,
All day and all night.
His relentless evilness
Was fading out of sight.

Did I forget to mention,
The rumpert had a heart?
But it wasn’t a good one,
For there was a hole in one part.

The hole was expanding
As he lost his only friend.
And the poor lonely rumpert,
Felt his heart couldn’t mend.

After months, after years,
The rumpert sat waiting.
Full of gloominess, doubt,
And a huge Christmas-hating.

Then just three years proceeding
The day of Christmas Eve.
The rumpert took action;
He began to deceive.

He faked being taken
By the carols of the Whos,
While secretly hatching
A plan none can refuse.

The softening rumpert
Kept his thawing heart near.
For if it became warm
The hole might just clear.

As the rumpert was dancing,
A Christmas tree aglow,
His mind started slipping;
He let his heart go.

Before the rumpert had realized,
What had gone on,
His heart was quickly mending;
Soon the hole was gone.

At first the rumpert cried,
As his mission had failed.
But then he was smiling,
For his goal had prevailed.

The giddy young rumpert,
Ran out in the cold.
To another jolly party
With his heart made of gold.

The rumpert ran everywhere,
And without a flinch.
Rejoiced when he found him:
His best friend, the Grinch.

-- Holly

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