Super Powers

This summer when I was on an 85 mile trek in New Mexico, my friends and I had this conversation while hiking which was about superpowers. We came up with some pretty unique abilities, some of which actually didn’t benefit the hero but made their life harder. I don’t remember them all but I still remember a few. Here they are:

The ability to talk to fruit: Strictly fruit; not vegetables. For this power, there were kind of two variations that we came up with. Variation number one was that you can talk to the fruit, but the fruit doesn’t exactly talk back. It just understands what you’re saying. And that’s it. Overall, variation number one was pretty much useless. Variation number two on the other hand, was a little bit better, but there was much debate in discussing it. It included everything in variation number one, but the fruit actually would more or less respond to your wishes. For example, if you asked a bunch of bananas to attack someone, they would roll into the person, over and over again, until told to stop. Another example was that you could tell fruit that somebody was eating to rot in their mouth. My friend W argued that fruit can’t commit suicide because it doesn’t necessarily decide when to die. J, the guy who came up with the power argued that we don’t really know that because nobody in the past has had the opportunity to speak to a fruit. The debate just kind of continued on like this.

The ability to detect Wifi and/or be a Wifi hotspot: This power very simply allowed the hero to sense how many bars of Wifi were present in their location and/or generate Wifi. Anyone who had this power would obviously make that person pretty popular. If you were to have this power you wouldn’t be useful at all if people were to stop using Wifi technology for some reason. Then you just become one of those people who are very conservative in terms of letting go of old technologies. And that’s kind of annoying.

The Human Compass: The human compass was my favorite power, which was actually made by me. Anyone with this ability was capable of facing North and only North. They’re body was capable of moving South, East, and West, but their face had to always be facing North. As you’ve probably guessed, this power was included in the powers that were more like burdens than gifts. However, the loophole for this ability was that the human compass could face any direction that he or she wanted if he/she was on the very top of the world; the North Pole.  

So that’s it. Thank you for your time and sleep well.

Sincerely, Rudolph