Dreaming of 2016

FADE IN

We’re in total and complete darkness.

ROB

Hello?

GOD

Is that you, Adele?

ROB

That’s funny.

GOD

Thanks.

ROB

Where am I?

GOD

Where do you think?

ROB

I’m in complete darkness and talking to God.  Holy crap!  Am I—

GOD

Dreaming.  Yes.

ROB

Whew!  That’s a relief.  Is there a light in here?

GOD

On your left.

Rob reaches out his hand in the darkness but can’t find a wall, let alone a light switch.

ROB

I can’t find it.

GOD

Your other left, dumbass.

Rob switches hands but still can’t find anything in the darkness.

ROB

A little help?

GOD

It’s your dream.  If you want light, think light.

Fluorescent lights sputter on.  Rob blinks repeatedly as his eyes adjust.  He’s standing in a massive warehouse – think the final scene of Raiders Of The Lost Ark, but double the size of the warehouse.

As in Raiders, there are row upon row of industrial shelves – too many to count – running from the floor right up to the 40-foot ceilings.

ROB

What is this place?

GOD

Well, it’s 2016.  More specifically, it’s where you’ll store all of your memories for 2016.

ROB

Really?

GOD

Sure.  You’ve got a place like this for each year you’ve been alive.  Some of the older years aren’t quite as big.

ROB

If each year is 365 days, why would some be smaller than others.

GOD

That’s because your world view is smaller when you’re an infant.  There’s probably very little you can remember from when you were 5 years old or younger.  Am I right?

ROB

Well, I—

GOD

Of course I’m right.  I’m God.  Even the memories you do have from those years have gotten dusty and cobwebbed so they’re much fuzzier to you than more recent years.

ROB

That makes sense.  (Rob looks around)  Are memories stored chronologically or in categories?

GOD

Well, this is your dream but I’m pretty sure you add them chronologically since they come in as they happen.  But the beautiful thing is that they can be sorted however you like when you’re trying to recall something.  Family vacations?

The storage racks re-position themselves with a loud clatter until an empty rack labeled “Family Vacations” is presented front and center.

ROB

Pretty cool.

GOD

And you can even search memories that span across multiple years.  We just pull those from the appropriate warehouse and make them available to you however you want to access them.  Kind of like an interlibrary book loan.

ROB

That’s excellent.  You’re like Google.

GOD

Seriously?

ROB

Er, um, I mean – that must be where Google got their ideas from.

GOD

Better.

ROB

Sorry.

GOD

Oh, hey – I just noticed it’s only December 30^th.  You shouldn’t even be in here yet.

ROB

OK.  Can you tell me which direction is the way back to 2015?

GOD

It’s your dream.  You just have to wake up.

ROB

Right.  Well, thanks.

Rob turns to go.

GOD

Hey, Rob.

Rob turns back.

ROB

Yeah?

GOD

Happy New Year!

ROB

Thanks, God.  You too!

FADE OUT