From The Mouths Of Babes

I work in a kindergarten classroom at Jewish private school. The kids are very sweet and well taken care of. For my first blog, I just wanted to share some cute interactions I’ve had while spending 40 hours a week with a bunch of 5 year olds who know more Hebrew than I do. 

There’s this girl in the class and we have this hilarious bit going on together where she calls me “Sarah” but get this: HER name is Sarah. My name is Reed. Do you see what she’s doing here? She’s doing this reversal— I can’t even wrap my head around it but I know that it’s funny. That’s for sure.

A boy in my class got punished and couldn’t do that rainbow parachute thing that everyone did in elementary school. The one where everyone stands around the edge and you lift it up all at once, run under, and capture the air so it’s like you’re all in a little fort? It’s the best, and this boy was understandably disappointed. He comes up to me and goes, “This is the worst day of my life.” I was like, that’s awesome, I hope it is. You’re 5 years old. Not getting to do the parachute is an extremely high bar. If today is the worst day of your life you probably have like 80 years left of winning the lottery, eating ice cream, marrying a beautiful woman… I don’t know, other good stuff. 

 

A girl slapped my ass the other day. I was standing helping a student and she gives me a good smack and runs away. I pathetically go “Ohhh, let’s not do that”.  Her teacher, Morah Amy, hears this interaction and the echo of my wagon getting slapped and goes “What did she just do??” I’m like “…she hit my butt :(   Amy calls the girl over and invites me to join the conversation. It felt like I was in trouble too?? And that’s what’s wrong with this country. 

 

Amy goes “Did you just slap Mr. Reed’s bottom?” The girl just nods. 

 

Amy: Do you think Mr. Reed liked it when you slapped his bottom. 

 

Girl shakes her head.

 

Amy: Mr. Reed, did you like it when she slapped your bottom?

 

I said the correct answer, which was “No”.

 

Good to be back on the blog and happy holidays everyone!

 

-Rudolph