OK, friends. It takes a lot to tick me off but I have reached my limit. Every person has their breaking point and I have reached mine. Enough is enough. It is time to take a stand.
The cause of my ire? Glitter.
Now before you tell me I’m making a mountain out of a molehill, I must ask you: have you attempted to buy a greeting card recently?!? There is no escaping the glitter. It is literally freaking everywhere.
Birthday cards? Sure.
Holiday cards? Of
course.
Weddings?
Anniversaries?
Graduations?
Check, check and check.
About the only card I could find that hasn’t been glittered within an inch of its life is bereavement cards. And I know it’s only a matter of time before black glitter becomes the classy way to say goodbye to loved ones.
Have the greeting card companies run out of ideas? They read a prototype for a new card and say to themselves, “You know what would make this card even better? Let’s glitter the shit out of it. People are going to love that.”
I spent 20 minutes looking for a birthday card today and needed to come home and take a shower. There was glitter in places that have never seen glitter before. That stuff is insidious.
So today I’m taking a stand. I invite you all to join me.
It’s time for us to send the glitterati a message. We just won’t have it anymore.
From this moment forward, we should all boycott glitter cards. With a sharpie and some wherewithal, you can turn a non-glittered bereavement card into whatever other kind of card you might be looking for.
Who’s with me?
Frosty
Ha, that's great! My friends and I spite-give them to each other.
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