We will know who killed Jeffery Epstein; the next mystery is who killed his murderer (it’s Jack Kirby)
Baby Yoda is cancelled for some reason, probably force chokes Mando in the finale, also for some reason.
Scorsese agrees to direct a Marvel film to “show everyone how it’s done, you bitches”
Kumail Nanjani stops being funny because he’s ripped now and you can’t have everything
Mike Pence is reported missing after moving into his new home, but his wife just couldn’t see him blending in with all the cardboard.
Eddie Murphy has 11th kid. Guy fucks.
James Dean becomes the first actor to win the Oscars for both best actor and best visual effects in the same season.