Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Best Reason To Be President

I used to want to be President so that I could know if aliens were real. I don’t know what level of clearance one needs to be at to know about UFOs and aliens, but I always figured the Presidency had to be high enough. But then Trump was elected and now I’m not so sure. Because if Trump knew about aliens, we would definitely all know about aliens. If every US president ever has been briefed on the state of extraterrestrial affairs, we would’ve gotten a midnight tweet referencing activity on Jupiter.

Which leads us to several possible conclusions. 

A) aliens aren’t real/the US government has nothing on them, 

B) aliens are real and the president does not get briefings from the Men In Black or 

C) and I think C is the most likely, aliens are real and the agency that handles them just decided it would be best to not tell Donald. 

They just made a bipartisan decision that Donald J Trump knowing about aliens would be the end of the secrecy. “Just distract him with the nuclear codes, Biden will deal with the intergalactic threat”.

Maybe he does know and they built in a self-censoring program that automatically deletes his tweets if they have alien-related buzzwords (e.g. saucer, martian, anal probe). If that’s the case, I don’t think Trump is actually playing golf. Every time the media reports that POTUS is at the links, he’s actually just in the bottom level of the Pentagon poking a bloated Martian head with a stick. “I’m the president, I can poke them if I want to”



  1. There's also a 3rd possibility -- aliens are real and they put that info in a presidential briefing, which Trump never reads.